Everyone plans the wedding with you. Nobody sits with you in the bigger thing underneath — two whole lives building a third thing without losing the first two. Citizen Mirror is a private mirror for exactly that — it reflects what you say, asks one real question, and helps you write the principles the marriage will actually run on.
Become someone you trust — before you promise to be someone another person trusts. Nothing you say is ever stored: each reflection happens in the moment and is discarded, and your sittings and your Constitution live only on this device. No account, no transcript on a server, and we hold nothing to hand over — even the doubts are safe here.
Begin here — one tap
What are you carrying?
Tap one and say the rest out loud — before the planning spreadsheet opens, and nothing you say needs to be tidy.
What a sitting looks like
The guest list
"We had our first real fight about the guest list. Three days later I realized it was never about the guest list."
What I heard
The argument had a topic. The fear underneath had a different one.
I wonder…
I wonder if the list was the first place you each discovered the other one's non-negotiables — and neither of you had words for that yet.
A question to sit with
What was the guest-list fight actually protecting, for each of you?
For your Constitution
We fight about the thing under the thing.
The traditions
"Her family does holidays big and loud. Mine does them quiet. Everyone assumes their way is the default, including us two."
What I heard
You're not choosing between families. You're founding one.
I wonder…
I wonder what it would feel like to treat every inherited tradition as an application, not a law.
A question to sit with
What's one tradition you two could invent that belongs to neither family — only yours?
For your Constitution
Our household takes applications, not orders.
The quiet panic
"I love him. And some nights I lie awake mourning the version of me that answered to no one. I can't say that to anyone."
What I heard
You just said it. Loving him, and grieving her — both, out loud.
I wonder…
I wonder if the version who answered to no one isn't dying — she's the one who chose this, and she gets a say in how it's built.
A question to sit with
What does the answers-to-no-one you need written into this marriage to stay alive inside it?
For your Constitution
'We' is built from two 'I's kept whole.
For officiants, premarital counselors & clergy
Officiants, premarital counselors, clergy, marriage-prep programs: couples arrive with a venue booked and the real questions unasked — the mirror does the between-sessions work, one partner at a time, in private. It is a mirror, not a counselor: no advice, no verdicts on the relationship, and anyone in deeper water is pointed toward real care. Nothing they say is ever stored on a server — sittings live only on each person's own device — so there is nothing for you to store, secure, or explain. Write us about group access for your practice or program.
One principle a week from the Common Constitution — contributed by people who chose to publish theirs. No sitting required to read along, and nothing is ever asked of you. Your address lives with the mailing list and never touches your sittings.
Your email goes to our newsletter service (Kit) — never stored by us, never linked to your reflections. Unsubscribe anytime.